Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Romantic and Self Love in Americanah


One of the main aspects of Adichie’s Americanah is the female protagonist, Ifemelu’s, love life. Ifemelu has contrasting romantic relationships with Curt, a Caucasian American, Blaine, an African American, and Obinze, a Black Nigerian. A common theme seen throughout Ifemelu’s relationships with Curt and Blaine (that does not occur with Obinze) is that she changes a part of herself to feel comfortable loving them.
While Ifemelu does not originally consider romantic feelings towards Curt, he impresses her by giving her the opportunity to experience life as “a woman free of knots and cares” (241). He alleviates the pressures she previously faces attempting to find legal, career-furthering work and because of him, she finally gets a glimpse of the America she imagined. This allusion allows Ifemelu to be with Curt until time causes it to fade and reveals his inability to understand the disadvantages she faces as a black woman. To put it plainly, she states “There were, simply, times that he saw and times that he was unable to see” (364). Upon this realization, Ifemelu feels dissatisfied and abandons the relationship.
Her relationship with Blaine is different from the start, as she initially approaches him with interest. When they are reunited, she is intrigued by the “higher level of goodness” she experiences when she is around him (384). Blaine introduces Ifemelu into a community of people where she can freely express her opinions (outside of her blog). She becomes comfortable with forming her own ideas on American society. However, as their relationship progresses her newfound thoughts create a barrier in their relationship. Blaine is a passionate activist for his race and hints that “she was not sufficiently furious” for one of his protests “because she was African, not African American” (428). After this, Ifemelu gives up on pursuing her relationship with Blaine.
One of the main reasons that she never felt all-consuming love with Curt or Blaine was that she never truly loved herself while she was with them. While with Curt, Ifemelu lies to her innermost self in order to be content. She ignores that people perceive her differently because of her race in order to maintain her new life. In contrast, Blaine and her converse on a variety of topics that revolve around race. However, Blaine does not respect her opinions and she struggles to love someone who causes her to doubt herself.
None of this occurs when Ifemelu is with Obinze. He lets her express herself and challenges her way of thinking while respecting all that she has to say. Obinze is the only man who has ever treated her in this manner and Ifemelu never changes apart of herself to get Obinze to love her. She only feels all-consuming love in a relationship where she doesn’t have to compromise her self-love for another person. Chasing this type of love leads her back to the comforts of Nigeria and Obinze at the end of the book.

1 comment:

  1. I wholeheartedly agree with you when it comes to Ifemelu’s termination of her romantic pursuits with Curt and Blaine - in order to be with them, she had to change a part of herself. And as it’s so blatantly stated throughout the novel, Ifemelu’s character is one that cannot be silenced, or put in a box, or altered to a more subdued, from-fitting version of herself. Adichie constantly reminds the reader that Ifemelu contains a voice and a spirit that can’t be silenced - even further demonstrated through her raw tellings of American society in her blog posts. But when it comes to love, Ifemelu needed to be wholly accepted for who she is by her partner.

    While Curt does provide her the American life she’d heard about, she goes through the process of changing her hair, and with it her Africanness, while she’s in a relationship with him. She has it burnt and straightened as to better fit the physical stereotype for her job interview that Curt attains for her. When she finally decides to change her hair to an Afro, embracing her full cultural heritage, she shortly after breaks up with Curt. Even though he supports her, Ifemelu had been forced into a mold in which she did not fit. Similarly with Blaine, Ifemelu found herself holding her tongue around him, his friends, and his sister Shan for their enthrallment with academia. Again, this type of censorship is what ultimately drove her back to Obinze, the one person who understood her and never tried to alter her.

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