Close Your Mouth, Open Your Ears

During her blog post on pages 403-406, Ifemelu talks about how American Non-Blacks should handle talking to American Blacks about problems with race.  By listening to Ifemelu, we learn that we should not try to empathize with American Blacks, but instead, we should simply listen to their problem and try to understand.

    Ifemelu says that when an American Black talks to you about problems with racism, you should not try to empathize with them and compare your experiences to theirs because “you have not suffered precisely because you are an American Black” (Adichie 403).  American Non-Blacks often try to empathize with American Blacks because they do not fully understand racism. This is because they have never experienced problems that American Blacks have, such as being mistakenly identified as a suspect for a crime, simply because of their race.  Although there are many other ethnic groups that Ifemelu brings up, such as Mexicans, the Irish, and Eastern Europeans, that have been subject to racism in America, American Blacks will always be the lowest on the ladder. When American Non-Blacks try to empathize with American Blacks about racism, it does not make them feel heard and understood, instead, it stifles their voices.  By comparing the issues of your ethnic group or your ancestors to the issues of American Blacks, you are simply shutting down the conversation and becoming part of the problem of racism instead of the solution. American Non-Blacks should aim to forward the conversation and become part of the solution by listening and asking questions to better understand the problem. Understanding the problem is the first step to alleviating it.

    In her post, Ifemelu claims that listening is the best thing that American Non-Blacks can do when an American Black talks about problems with racism because “[s]ometimes people just want to feel heard” (Adichie 406).  Listening to what the American Black has to say will not only make them feel validated in their frustration, but it will also help you, as an American Non-Black, understand their problem. As an American Non-Black, understanding the problem of racism helps shift the burden of dealing with racism to American Non-Blacks, rather than having it completely fall on American Blacks.  It could also lead to the American Non-Black becoming an advocate for American Blacks now that they have a better understanding of racism. This can, in turn, help other American Non-Blacks understand racism because sometimes they are more willing to talk about racism with someone who is not an American Black.

    Ifemelu is simply saying that next time an American Black confides in a Non-American Black about a problem with racism, the Non-American Black should simply listen.  This will help them become part of the solution, and not part of the problem.