“If you’re uncomfortable about asking questions, say you are uncomfortable about asking questions and then ask anyway.” (Adichie 406). Out of everything presented and written in this book, this phrase stuck with me the most. It blatantly highlights our society’s behavior towards race, which is not only to be “colorblind” but to also shy away from asking questions in order to learn more about people different than us. Ifemelu’s blog entry covers several aspects of race and racism, but the main point she delivers is that being ignorant on the topic of race hinders equality more than ignoring race itself.
As I started to read this book, I considered myself to be in a unique situation. I am white, and paler than average, but I was raised in Istanbul, Turkey where I was very much a minority in terms of skin color and nationality. There was one instance where we (my family and I) took a cab, most likely to go into town. The cab driver asked where we were from, and my father instinctively said “America”. The driver proceeded to get angry and yell how much he hated Americans and got so violent that we got out of the cab well before we reached our destination. I remember thinking “What did we do?” After that I remember being told to follow these two rules: only speak Turkish in public, and whenever someone asks where you are from, say Canada. We faced other obstacles that stemmed from where we came from, most of which were relatively harmless, but I still felt as though I was hated because of who I was. I know that my experience cannot be compared to those of a black individual living in America and that the oppression faced by blacks in America are vastly different than those of an American in Turkey. The blog post from 403-406 allowed me to see just how different it is and how other people should approach understanding and learning about it.
One of the first examples brought up by Ifemelu in the blog post (Page 403) is to not bring up your own suffering and compare it to an American Black as if they are equal. And don’t try to blame their suffering on something other than race. It is astonishing to see just how many people in today’s society avoid the topic of race in order to be “the least offensive” or under the reasoning that we are all the same. Ifemelu clearly indicated that we are not all the same, but that is not a bad thing. The “badness” of it comes from not wanting to understand our differences. She also talks about the common response, “One of my best friends is black,” and how your actions are still your own, and are independent of who you are friends with. At the very end of the post (Page 406), Ifemelu writes, “Sometimes people just want to feel heard.” She wants the reader to learn that if change is to be made, we need to listen first.
I completely agree with the notion that this society has evolved into trying to make people “colorblind” and avoid the topic of race. I think we have made the decision to do that because history has taught us that unfortunate and unjust events arise out of racism. Therefore we are taught from a young age that racism is bad and not to be racist. Ifemelu writes in one of her blog posts “In America, racism exists but racists are all gone.” (pg. 390) Everyone knows and we are taught in schools that racism still exists but being a racist implies that you are a terrible person. Therefore people in America don’t want to be labeled a racist. Everyone says they are not racist because of the negative connotation that comes with that label but they don’t actually examine their own words and actions to determine if they really are even partially racist or not. There is this fear in America that if a comment is not taken the right way then it could be deemed as racist and then cultivate in getting the title of a racist which is not desirable, thus people avoid the subject altogether creating a society in which people don’t ask questions and ignorance wins out. I think the quote you mentioned from page 406 is a very important quote because Ifemelu brings up a very good point that a lot of the issues with ignorance in this country is due to people not asking questions.
ReplyDeleteI think it's really interesting that Ifemelu makes the point you mentioned on page 403 about not equating your suffering with those of American Blacks. It's something that I've seen time and time again. Most troubling to me is that I've seen it most significantly in academic environments. One particular memory that stands out to me takes place in a history class in high school where we were studying the civil rights movement. Someone in the class actually said something along the lines of "I was once harassed by a black man on the street, so we're pretty much even now." That really hit me hard because I think it was then that I fully understood what white privilege actually meant.
ReplyDeleteTo comment on your post, I think it's interesting that you chose to include the story you did, as it shares a lot of similarities with Eminike’s story from page 341. The inclusion of the story felt a little bit against the point of Ifemelu’s argument at first, so I found it interesting that you used it to show how Ifemelu’s words changed your mind in some small degree. I think it’s really important to acknowledge that, while we can occasionally relate to the stories, it’s difficult for us to understand what it’s like being the victim of systemic abuse, and mostly I think it’s important that we can use information like this book to help us grow as individuals.